I've been on vacation... so of course I haven't writen. In Moscow Idaho now, it's quite cool, visiting a really good friend I haven't seen for a while. She gave me a livejournal code, so instead of blogger I'm gonna use that... and the url is: http://livejournal.com/~reluisant

So now instead of this... I'm gonna use that... so all my old entries will still be here, but the new ones starting from June 14, will be in the livejournal...

posted by Julie Saturday, June 14, 2003

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Star Light Star Bright... First Star I see tonight... I wish I may... I wish I might... Have the wish I wish tonight. I wished upon the first star I saw tonight. I was riding my bike outside, and I looked up and saw the moon shining down. And then I looked to the right and I saw the star. It was the only one in the sky. So I stopped my bike in the middle of the grassy area and lay down on the ground and looked up at the star. i thought about everything and made a wish. I don't think it'll come true, but it was a wish anyways. Sometimes, even if you know something will never happen, it still helps to dream that it will. To hope and wish that it will happen. Though that doesn't help if you're trying to forget something.

So it was hectic today... Tomorrow we leave early in the morning... 5:45 flight. We're gonna be gone for about 2 weeks. Gonna miss everyone... but I think it'll be fun, I hope. Anyways, there was so much nervousness and rush and annoyance in everyone, it was horrible. But at least it's over and we're about to leave. It'll be a blast. Though I didn't do anything interesting today. so it's all good. Anyways... gonna go now. I love you all and will miss EVERYONE!

posted by Julie Sunday, June 08, 2003

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in time, hearts do heal and you just have to pick up your heart, put it back together and move on.

i spend most of my time questioning whether it was my fault...or what was i thinking in the first place to go out with them.

posted by Julie Saturday, June 07, 2003

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Grades came back, yeah, highlight of my day... not really. thanks to everyone in our CS project, A+ baby! Though I didn't think our CD really worked, but it's all good. Thanks for putting up with me and all... I know it was hard... ;) Didn't have much to worry about in English, it was all good too. And Eurasia, though I screwed up the essay, oh well. I'm pretty happy right now, all over some dumb grades, geez, I'm so pathetic. I'm now gonna go outside and do something interesting. buh bye!

posted by Julie Saturday, June 07, 2003

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It was a great time Friday. We should do it again sometime... same thing... except maybe at Turkey Run! Someone should drive us there and then spend the day there, and maybe even the night... it would be hott! (I can't believe i used that word, oh well) Pool parties are a lot of fun, especially when the pool is heated and it's really cold outside. It's great. Especially all the hot bodies... ;) Secret clubs... food... Harry Potter... movies that you don't quite understand... foosball... ping pong (totally killing a guy in that game cause they cheat!)... everything was fun. Especially hanging out with people that are totally awesome and cool. Thanks to everyone and everything that makes a friday the best... even with the Delights.

Today we went to the showcase at Ironwood, to see all the very beautiful houses and to wish that we could buy a house like that in that exact area with everything exactly like it. Though my parents are planning on moving to an area like that in Champaign like next year or something. I don't know if I want to or not. Cause Urbana is pretty awesome in the first place. Then again it would be cool to live in a cooler house in another neighborhood. oh well. Cause my parents will probably end up not getting one. Just as well.

Have you realized that with some guys, even though you like them a lot, and they're so easy to hang out with, it's like a best friend sort of bond. Yet some of these best friend bonds don't turn out to be something that would work in a relationship, they're more of a brother/sister sort of relationship. And with some people, it's the best. I'm glad for that, and don't want it to change, so I won't do anything stupid. Those are the ones that last a long time... and with the right people, it's the best thing in the world. Even other people notice it, it's like you've got a special bond with that person and nothing can break it. You can be stupid around them, a bitch, a totally loser... and you can do anything around them, and it won't be awkward or they won't think you like them... Then with other people, it's a want... a need... something that just grabs your attention. It's a different sort of relationship than a brother/sister... You feel comfortable with them, and love to hang out with them, and you feel as if something was lost if you don't talk to them or see them... Yet it doesn't seem enough/right... there's something more in the "bond". You feel something different. It's confusing... and that's what I'm so confused about... (yeah, sounds stupid and crazy, like I'm high or something) but I can't figure out what exactly I'm feeling for specific people. It's as if sometimes things are different and other times they aren't. It's a revolving circle and stuff... Yet thanks to nuole, I have one person figured out... and it's all cool cause it works for me and him. though he doesn't know it yet...

I love you all!

posted by Julie Saturday, June 07, 2003

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I still do. I know I don't want to. but I still do. I know some people will totally hurt me if I tell them that, but I still do, and there's nothing that can change that. unless something extremely drastic happens. Reason is I don't even know why. It always seems there always one person, or maybe two, that's "addictive"... no matter what happens, I bounce right back to them. The thing is that it's not exactly healthy for me to do that. Cause then I focus so much on that, and i don't realize everything else that's going on in my life, that might be really nice too. And then i woulda missed that opportunity. I need someone to show me why I should forget it, and move on.

posted by Julie Thursday, June 05, 2003

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Went to see the Italian Job today at the movie, and it was a pretty cool movie. I didn't want to see it at first cause it kinda seemed stupid, but then it wasn't bad. anyways, so the moral of today is, don't sneak into a movie when there aren't many people at the movie theater. No matter how tempting the prospect of not having to pay any money to see a movie, and there's no one there checking tickets, there will always be some way that someone will find out you snuck in and ask to see your ticket. So then either you have to buy another ticket or get kicked out or reprimended. Spelling of that. But that's what happened. And I will never ever follow Devin into a movie without paying, cause someone will find out I didn't pay. so then I didn't end up going to OG cause my mom decided to be about 20 minutes late. Nuole just came over. Going to the mall tomorrow morning. doing something saturday and sunday. It's gonna be a packed week before I leave to see MARY!!! I am so excited.

blah. I can't get my thoughts out right now. cause they're all confused again, write later.

so turns out nothing's happening saturday... cause I'm too lazy... but it'll be cool tomorrow.

posted by Julie Thursday, June 05, 2003

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today was cool. watching the Nets vs. Spurs Game 1. Have a feeling Spurs are gonna win... I like both of the teams, but I would feel bad for the Nets if they lost... for some reason... oh well. You get into the game so much after a while. Spurs 45 Nets 42. 11:12 in 3rd quarter. Nuole came over at like 2 and we decided to have a huge party thing on saturday at hessel park... it'll be fun... if we end up organizing one, it shouldn't be that hard... all we have to do is invite the people. I need a job... cause I want a lot more money. i should find one this summer or next. Ha... Nets down by 5. missed last 6 shots. ok, I'm gonna stop with this information. So... today at like 3, nuole and I played bball... or tried to play with al and his brother Mike. It was fun. Then Daniel and Udara showed up... and Justin and Cameron. It was fun. Then nuole went to piano and i stole her house key and went inside her house to watch TV and then we went back to the court with Roveiza... played truth, but it wasn't as fun. Sometime happened that made me laugh and think. anyways. I hope we plan on doing something saturday, cause it would be really fun. Nets down by 3... pretty cool. oops... 8... oh well, they have 6 more games. so... I don't want what's gonna happen tomorrow to happen... cause it'll suck. I'm not making any sense to anyone but like me and 2-3 other people. Oh well. leaving on monday. 16 points!! wtf... they can't lose this. so... now they are now down by 15. it sux. ok, I'm gonna stop giving the points, cause it's stupid.

I am so confused. I think I still do... but then again, I don't want to, cause it would be a huge mistake. I can't get it out of my head, why?!?! Then again I think that there might be someone else, and this one should definately not be in mind, but it just seems right somehow... oh well.

I do want to do something saturday... so someone should plan to do something like have a party. Anything interesting before I have to leave. la. thanks.

posted by Julie Wednesday, June 04, 2003

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Recital today... it went ok... Saw Andrew W. there. It was cool, hadn't talked to him for the Longest time. Ok... so right now... I am truly bored... nothing to do. I'm going to stop being lazy and throw a party or something. I want something really exciting and interesting to happen. Something that is so unexpected it'll blow my mind... Someone should do that... then I would be really happy and I would love you forever and ever...

posted by Julie Tuesday, June 03, 2003

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Wow... i can't believe I passed up an opportunity to be unbored. But then again I couldn't've gotten a ride because my parents weren't here... but they should make the same invitation, and then so I can be unbored some other time. i have a piano recital tomorrow... and I don't really know my song completely. but I want something else to do tomorrow and wednesday, cause thursday I already have plans... and something to do on friday and saturday. Sunday i have to pack to get ready to leave at like 5 in the morning on monday. so I have to spend as much time as I can with my friends and EVERYONE before I leave. I'm going to be gone and w/o the internet... most likely... for 2 whole weeks (Getting back on the 25th). blah, I'm gonna miss so many people. When I come back someone should have a huge party and invite everyone... wishful thinking. And then someone should do something really cool for July 4th and make everything happy. I'm thinking too far ahead... maybe cause summer's gonna be pretty boring... anyways... today I went with Nuole at like 10 to the university library. then we took the bus to Lincoln Square, bought some sour jelly bellies, then went to the Urbana Library and the Bank. too out money from my account... checked out lots of movies. Then walked home to her house, took about 30 minutes. Then we watched Princess Bride, went to pick up my brother and watched Spiderman. Just about to watch Minority Report and Bourne Identity and Training Day. It'll be a partay... later y'all!!!!!

posted by Julie Monday, June 02, 2003

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